Today I had a conversation with a friend I have known my entire adult life. He’s in transition and is scaling back. His career has included being President of his own small company to being CFO of a multi-billion dollar empire back to CEO of his small company. He lives in a monster big house,  drives a luxury car, and has networked and worked with the rich and famous. He has had a life many would envy. Now he’s ready to get out…out of the monster mortgage, out of the car leases, and far away from shallow relationships to relationships that matter. During his “rock star” days, he told me his family could see an “emptiness” in him as he was sucked into the vortex of a “rich” lifestyle. He’s traded having it ALL for a life of living rich - weekends  in the mountains with his family, time around the dinner table laughing, and conversations that matter.

For some, life on the other side is appealing. For those who have been there (mega wealthy), I suspect that it’s not as glamorous as it appears. The reality is many with great material wealth are caught in an unending cycle of never feeling like they have enough and never feeling satisfied. It’s like the law of diminishing marginal utility that I learned in economics. My interpretation in this situation is that each additional dollar (beyond a reasonable amount) brings a diminishing level of satisfaction or less and less satisfaction over time. On the opposite end of the spectrum is giving which is diametrically opposed to the law of diminishing marginal utility. The more you give, the better you feel and the more you get back. I think my friend gets that now and he’s on a road to RICHNESS unlike anything he’s ever gived…er… lived.

Tim Richardson is a professional speaker and author. Tim writes and speaks about how to build community (with customers, with co-workers, and in the community where you live). His programs focus on how to increase employee morale, lower employee turnover, increase customer loyalty and build a better sense of healthy community in cities, states, and countries all over the world. He is a community builder by volunteering in scouting, youth sports, and as a board member in several organizations including president and founder of the Bill Walter Melanoma Research Fund. For more information on Tim, go to www.TimRichardson.com

This week, I have once again been reminded about how giving trumps receiving.  I am in Colorado Springs, CO and camping near Garden of the Gods. The reason I am here enjoying this beautiful place is because of the generousity of new friends MJ and Mike Coon. About a year ago, I was speaking at CUNA CFO conference in Phoenix. As participants were walking in the room, I happened to notice Colorado Springs on the name tag of one of the attendees (MJ). After my keynote speech, MJ and I were talking and I told her I would be speaking for paralympians at the US Olympic Training Center   about a month later. She suggested that I might want to stay for the weekend after my speech (which I did with my 11 year old son). We had a blast and had a RICH experience riding the COG train to the summitt of Pikes Peak, watching Paralympic hopefuls in training, and going to dinner and attending their church with MJ and Mike (I ate my very first fish taco in Colorado FAR from the ocean - I am still not sure what type of fish it was).  Mike and my son told jokes all through dinner. MJ and I watched in astonishment as each joke reminded one of them of another.  A friendship was born.

MJ and I continued our relationship by emailing back and forth.  Then I was a keynote speakers for the Credit Union Executive Society annual meeting in Steamboat Springs,  Colorado in March (I spoke for an hour and a half then skied with them for a few hours then spoke again at the end of the day). On that trip, I saw MJ and Mike again.

They became more and more convincing that spending time here would be incredible for my family and me in the summer. So here I am with my family, camping in their camper enjoying the wild life, hiking around Pike’s Peak, starting each day with morning bike ride around Garden of the Gods, visiting the Olympic training center, horse back riding and more. It’s been a blast. They know how to give and even rejected my attempts to buy MJ a day spa gift certificate and Mike a brand new motorcycle fish taco and a joke book. Instead they insisted that IF we wanted to do something, we make a donation to a charity that they suppport…anonomously. I came here for vacation and am leaving with RICH memories AND a valuable lesson about hospitality, generosity, and giving.

Tim Richardson is an inspirational speaker who speaks about how giving increases employee morale, lowers employee turnover, increases customer loyalty and creates higher profits for Fortune 500 companies, associations, and national conventions. He is the founder of the The Worlds Biggest Blog Party an event which will connect bloggers from all over the world to raise money for charity. He is also founder and president of the Bill Walter Melanoma Research Fund and co-founder of the Jeffrey Roth Cycling Foundation. Click here for more information on professional speaker Tim Richardson.

I spoke with a friend this am who is REALLY going through it. A few years ago, she had her own business working with top professionals in her industry. She hob-knobbed with the rich and famous. She traveled to events all over the country. She stayed in top hotels and personally had interactions with former presidents, heads of state and CEO’s of big companies. One incident, changed everything. One act by her brother sent her spinning.  He hit her. He sent her into a tail spin because it brought up her past and things she hadn’t let go of from her first marriage at a young age. Her first husband was unkind. Abusive. He was not the man she wanted but he was strikingly similar to her own father. She left him with three young children to raise on her own.  Her ex had hit her too.

She became a grand mother too young. The cycle continued as one of her children got involved with someone just like her ex. Why?  I can’t for the life of me understand why men are abusive to women. Why is it that they let violence and anger control their actions? Why in heavens name would ANYONE hit a child?

My friend lost her business, lost her health, and lost her way. She lives in a barn with no means for bathing. Her new husband is sick and they don’t have health insurance. Some loan shark loaned her money for a car at TWICE the normal interest rate. She bought it last year withoiut a job and with little prospect for the short term. 

She wanted help. I felt almost hopeless. I told her that she might consider the following:

1) Have passion - find something to do that moves you. Then be laser-beamed focused on that.

2) Be good - the world is full of mediocrity. My friend, while troubled now, isn’t an average person. She is bright, beautiful, and she is very good at her profession.

3). Take action - this was the tough one. How does one know what action to take when they have lost everything? I told her, I couldn’t imagine how she was able to get out of bed and make a concerted effort to do something. She cried.  I had hit the nail on the head.

This all could have been avoiced had the cycled never started. It’s not easy to erase the past. Some can’t break the cycle and are destined to repeat it. It takes incredicle strenght to be a cycle breaker.

Her story is a vivid reminder for me that what I say, what I do and how I live will impact the futures of those I hold dear. 

Tim Richardson is an inspirational speaker who speaks about how giving increases employee morale, lowers employee turnover, increases customer loyalty and creates higher profits for Fortune 500 companies, associations, and national conventions. He is the founder of the The Worlds Biggest Blog Party an event which will connect bloggers from all over the world to raise money for charity. He is also founder and president of the Bill Walter Melanoma Research Fund and co-founder of the Jeffrey Roth Cycling Foundation. Click here for more information on professional speaker Tim Richardson.