When I first started dating my wife, I used to tell her until I met her, I couldn’t buy a date. Had I only known about the power of volunteering! According to an article in the British Journal of Psychology, volunteering is attractive to woman.  Tomorrow I am speaking to a group of high school students about giving back. I’m thinking about telling the young men in the audience about this research. Nay, I’ll let them figure it out for themselves. 

Tim Richardson is an inspirational speaker who speaks about how giving increases employee morale, lowers employee turnover, increases customer loyalty and creates higher profits for Fortune 500 companies. He is founder of the Bill Walter Melanoma Research Fund. For more information on Tim, go to www.TimRichardson.com

When I was VERY young, I remember watching Lee Majors as the Six Million Dollar Man. Back when that show was popular, six million bucks was BIG money. Apparently, the “value of a statistical life” in 2008 is worth 6.9 million (just under a million dollars more than what it cost to ”rebuild Lee Majors, making him stronger, faster…” in the 1970’s). This according to todays Boston Globe which reported the Environmental Protection Agency numbers.  Okay. SO, I guess we are all multi-millionaires! But wait, the article also reported that we aren’t worth as much as we were five years ago. In fact, we are officially worth a cool mil LESS than we were in 2003. I guess if you are a professional athlete, an aging super model, or a celebrity past their prime that may be true. I may be kidding myself but shouldn’t we at least be smarter than we were five years ago? I mean really - one million dollar drop in five years? How did that happen? I guess we all have consumed a bit of ”reality” TV since 2003 which could almost make us worthless! Pondering this value has left me in a quandry and I am not sure what to do now. So I guess I will be a Survivor and become an Apprentice so I can be Smarter than a Fifth Grader. Together we’ll watch My Big Redneck Wedding.  

Tim Richardson is an inspirational speaker who speaks about how giving increases employee morale, lowers employee turnover, increases customer loyalty and creates higher profits for Fortune 500 companies, associations, and national conventions. He is the founder of the The Worlds Biggest Blog Partyan event which will connect bloggers from all over the world to raise money for charity. He is also founder and president of the Bill Walter Melanoma Research Fund and co-founder of the Jeffrey Roth Cycling Foundation. Click here for more information on professional speaker Tim Richardson.

It’s summer camp time. When I was young, I LOVED going to summer camp. I went to church camp, scout camp, sports camp, day camp, night camp, family camp, Kum Ba Ya Camp, 1001 noises you can make with your body camp, and drop off your kids and speed away like Indy Driver Danica Patrick camp and that’s a short list.  As you may have already assessed, my parents loved for me to be at camp.I loved to go to camp and didn’t really need an excuse to go, if the summer experience had camp in its name, I was ALL over it.  One summer I even went to prison road cleanup camp - you know, orange uniformed chain gang kids on the highway picking up trash. Now that was a camp!

For many kids, camp is a rite of passage that includes a lot of firsts - first time away from mom and dad, first time eating delicious institutionalized food cooked to non-recognition, first case of posion ivy or oak in every  place on your body, first time really having to take orders from an older “sibling” like leader (usually with a name like Spike, Skippy, Wally, Scout, Summer, or Cookie). This highly trained camp counselor was someone who you looked up to like a super hero OR hated like Batman’s nemisis. For me, summer camp was the first (and thankfully only) time I ever had a swirly. If you don’t know what that is, don’t ask. Trust me, you are better off not knowing.  Even getting a swirly didn’t detour me from working with young people and at camps as a young adult. I taught water skiing at a camp in Winter Haven, Florida, after my freshman year at Florida Southern College. Later, I worked at Camp Rockmont in Black Mountain, NC, where I worked running the ski program with an 18-year-old surfer boy from Florida named Biff. It will always be a special place for me as it is at that place I fell in love with my wife (who worked at Camp Merimac across town teaching sychronized swimming). It’s also the place several years later where I, on bended knee, proposed to her on the camp ski boat with James Taylor playing on the boat stereo 8-track on a crisp October day, back-dropped by the autumn colors of fall. Yes, I had BIG hair then and was likely wearing short Quick Silver ski trunks that geeks cool skiers of the day wore. (I ONLY mention all this because TODAY is our wedding anniversary).

Summer camp is the ultimate summer job for the adventurer and the worst punishment for a spoiled rich kid. Most camp counselors are paid like they were making Nikes in Southeast Asia (which looks like a fortune to a CIT who pays to come to camp and cleans latrines all summer - think Meatballs, the movie). I wasn’t there for money, no, camp was much more RICH than that. It was about making memories for young boys and helping teens develop character taught throught analogy of skiing (that’s why I told my parents I was going anyway). Actually, it was all about being out on a beautiful lake all summer, skiing when the kids got tired, and grilling steaks on an open fire as the sun set. Really. Oh yeah, and courting my wife.

Well the camp thing has come full circle. My son is at Camp Buck Toms Boy Scout camp and we just received a letter from him today (the day I am going to pick him up). His letter was sweet and filled with descriptions of the fun things he was doing, how much me missed his little sisters and how he couldn’t wait to get home to mow the yard and wash and wax the car.  What he failed to mention in his letter is that he threw up while at camp. So being the rational parents we are, we immediately assume he either caught some summer camp disease rapidly killing off tweenagers and teens OR he ate entirely too much ”Splendid Table” cuisine at the camp-a-teria (the throw up story was of course reported by a mole in camp in a letter written to his mother and yesterday revealed to me). I now know what my parents meant when they said, “Wherever you go, we’ll be there, always watching.”  While my son omitted the “throw up” story in his letter, my friend Laurie emailed me yesterday and said she had received a letter from her son who reported that my son had thrown up.  So I emailed my friend Laurie back in fun “guessing” what her son had written. This is what I sent her:

Laurie, I can just picture Junior’s letter to you:

Dear Mom:

I am having fun at camp. I have gone swiming everyday. I am working on my three scout badges. Camp is swell. Russell threw up today.

Love,

Junior

Below is the email response from my friend Laurie:

Yes, camp is good for kids. I’m headed there for an overnight and to drive him home. I have been itching to go back all week now. It’s been awhile since I have had poison ivy. Perhaps at the campfire tonight we’ll be entertained by an arm pit orchestra who will play until someone er…throws up.

Tim Richardson is an inspirational speaker who speaks about how giving increases employee morale, lowers employee turnover, increases customer loyalty and creates higher profits for Fortune 500 companies, associations, and national conventions. He is the founder of the The Worlds Biggest Blog Party an event which will connect bloggers from all over the world to raise money for charity. He is also founder and president of the Bill Walter Melanoma Research Fund and co-founder of the Jeffrey Roth Cycling Foundation. Click here for more information on professional speaker Tim Richardson.

I have been in Colorado the last few days and haven’t posted like I would have liked this week. I did have the opportunity to see some professional speaker buddies both from there and other places. So I posed the question, “What did you do differently during Turn Off TV Week and/or Earth Week?

Non-verbal communication expert Patti Wood said:

I went to Inman park festival by MARTA train rather than drive downtown. I also  went four days without television while I was in Key West and back in Atlanta. It created a space for me to have more conversations with friends and with people I met on my trip. I also took longer walks and wrote more. Too much inputting is bad for the soul.

My speaker buddy and motivational humorist Scott Friedman celebrated by starring at his radio during prime time every night for an hour. His contribution to Earth Week:  I went through my house and threw away everything that wasn’t bio deagradeable. Also, I told flight attendants to collect all the recyled articles (then I got a few phone numbers to follow up for potential dates).

Minneapolis based speaker John Crudele said he’d like Earth Week to be a reminder for him to earn more GREEN for his Partnership for Youth foundation. John works to bring dynamic speakers for his Catholic programs for teens.

What did you do? 

Tim Richardson is an inspirational speaker who speaks about how giving increases employee morale, lowers employee turnover, increases customer loyalty and creates higher profits for Fortune 500 companies, associations, and national conventions. He is the founder of the The Worlds Biggest Blog Party an event which will connect bloggers from all over the world to raise money for charity. He is also founder and president of the Bill Walter Melanoma Research Fund and co-founder of the Jeffrey Roth Cycling Foundation. Click here for more information on professional speaker Tim Richardson.

I am in Daytona Beach for the 11th annual Bill Walter Melanoma Rayz Awareness run. As I was walking on the beach early Friday morning, I noticed most of the other beach walkers were elderly. I started thinking about how empty it must be to live a life like some of the people I see in communities liek Daytona Beach. When I returned to my friends place, I was watching CNN. There was a short clip about a music group called Young at Heart . If you want to be touched, watch them perform Fix You by Cold Play on YouTube. If you want to laugh, watch them perform, “I want to be Sedated” by the Romanes  or ‘Schizophrenia’ by Sonic Youth.

When I saw these clips, I realized the director of this group was a prime example of a person who does something that he is passionate about. Too bad more elderly people aren’t young at heart. Curious if you know someone who is young at heart. Let me know.

Saturday March 1 - I was in Colorado Springs with my new friends MJ and Mike (MJ heard me speak last May at a CUNA conference in Phoenix and we have become buds). We were walking around the Old North End and I was shirtless enjoying the 75 degree sunshine.  I love COS. I hated leaving.Sunday March 2 – I snowboarded at Loveland Ski area in six degree snow storm. I LOVE snowboarding. I hate being cold.Monday March 3 – I spoke to the Credit Union Executive Society in Steamboat Springs, CO. I spoke, snowboarded, and spoke again. I’d LOVE to have every speaking engagement include some X-treme activity. I’d hate to experience the incredible incompetent customer service from Alpine Taxi EVER again. They are the pits.Tuesday March 4-  I worked with new friend Mark at 81 Media on my new demo tape before flying from Denver to Atlanta. I LOVED working with Mark. I hated having the Jeep I was driving towed with made me late to my meeting with Mark. I LOVE my profession that allows me great friends like Colorado based motivational humorist Scott Friedman and motivational speaker/professional speaker friend Patti Wood for whom I bumped into in the Atlanta airport. I hate being gone from my family for five days! BTW, Patti is regularly on CNN and Fox as a body language expert. She analyzes politicians to see when they are lying (boy does she has an EASY job!). She shot a segment on the History Channel today and watched and analyzed Bill Clinton saying, “I did not have sex with that woman!”. Heck, I am not a body language expert but I knew he was lying. I wonder if Hillary did? I love (like maybe) politics. I hate politicians.Wednesday – I drove home from Atlanta with four of the five kids. I loved spending time with them solo. Sometimes it’s a different experience without my wife. I hated missing my wife so much and having her miss this trip due to illness. The kids and I stopped at Chickamauga national battle field and stop by to meet prospective client at Life Care of America headquarters. I LOVE history and meeting new friends. I hate listening to the same old rhetoric over and over again (Obama vs. Hillary).Thursday – I gave a new presentation to a Rotary club and had my awesome new assistant hear me speak live for the first time. Tried some new material and had a lot of fun. I joined Rotary International (their online club!). I LOVE my assistant, Kathy Roth. I hate it that she is moving to Ohio this summer!Friday – I had a visit from Murphy (of Murphy’s Law). He’d been to the office before when I dealt with Charter. This time, he invited his friend O’Toole (who said, “Murphy was an optimist!” to my office. If a company could screw up any more that Charter Communications has screwed up my phone service, I just don’t see how it could be possible. RUN from the offers Charter sends you. I have spent countless hours and wasted ALL kinds of time and money trying to get my internet and phone service all under one roof. Without question, my experience with Charter is the worst customer service I have ever experienced.  I love being challenged to believe what I speak, “On the other side of adversity is ALWAYS something better. I hate it when I can’t find the “something better!”Today – I helped my wife through an awesome birthday party for my little seven year-old. Inspired by Steve Spangler (of Steve Spangler Science), my alter ego, “Dr. Science” made a ’surprise’ visit to the party. We shot Diet Coke up in the air and made snow along with assorted other “science” tricks. Don’t worry, I won’t quit my motivational speaker gig.  I love my little girl.  I hate it when the Diet Coke spills resulting in half the geyser I promised.We thought spring was here but alas a big snow came today which is sending me back to the mountains to ski tomorrow. Of course, Ober Gatlinburg is no Steamboat but hey it beats nothing. I LOVE watching the snow fall down. I hate when it melts.Life is Good in love and in hate. What do you love? What do you hate? Talk to me.Tim Richardson is an inspirational speaker who speaks about how giving increases employee morale, lowers employee turnover, increases customer loyalty and creates higher profits for Fortune 500 companies, associations, and national conventions. He is the founder of the The Worlds Biggest Blog Party an event which will connect bloggers from all over the world to raise money for charity. He is also founder and president of the Bill Walter Melanoma Research Fund and co-founder of the Jeffrey Roth Cycling Foundation. Click here for more information on professional speaker Tim Richardson.

Things I accomplished this week during my week of being Mr. Mom:

New understanding and appreciation for my wife and homeschool mothers everywhere!

Daily exercise (it can be done).

Burning two dishes (my “kids, pretend it’s camping” comment didn’t work).

Getting great family pictures (thanks LaDonna!).

Preparing for tomorrow’s “Dreams for Kids” Christmas party.

Doing 9 loads of laundry in a washer that could hold 8 kids, four hound dogs, and a piggy we stole from the shed (for any John Denver fans).

Changing enough diapers to keep Greenpeace protesting for centuries.

Multi-tasking at even higher levels of incompetence.

Riding in the first annual Knoxville Christmas bike parade (see below).

Things I didn’t accomplish done this week as Mr Mom:

Watching Micheal Keaton in the movie Mr. Mom.

Spending quality time with my wife, each kid individually, or the postman for that matter.

Sleeping in past 6:00 am.

Waxing the floor.

Baking cookies.

Sending Christmas cards (I don’t think I read any either).

Showering before noon.

Cooking anything from scratch.

Making a family video like this video.

Figuring out how to make a blog post like this “fit the page” Could someone please HELP me!

The first annual Tour de Lights was a resounding success, with 200 people showing up to ride. People showed a lot of creativity and energy in their decorations and costumes. There were several celebrities in attendance, including Rudolph leading Santa’s tandem, and the Mayor of Whoville and the Grinch (whose heart had already grown three sizes). After the ride, my two older kids and I enjoyed hot chocolate and cookies donated by the Mast General store. The people we passed along the way were very excited to see our parade of lights and costumes. You can see photos at www.knoxtrans.org

Future blogs I have put off until 2009:

All I want for Christmas is a few good books

Meet me in Memphis - Everything I needed to know in life I learned from the Memphis VA hospital

Rendevouz How “chance” meetings changed me.

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas (and that’s not necessarily a good thing).

Mr. Mom: The Saga continues:

4:30: Wake up

4:45: Mount St. Laundry/plan day (write note that says, “bring towel to gym”)

5:22: Arrive at Rush fitness center

5:49: Disembark from stair stepper (VERY short X-ercise as trip to the car to look for towel shortens workout). Hey even a few minutes is better than nothing even though it’s not X-treme

5:51: Shower (dry of with paper towels and Accelerator hand dryer - the one that can blow your skin off your body)

6:11: Arrive late to Bible study(the group is already praying. I need them to stop and pray for me!)

7:08: Run quick errand downtown

7:32: Arrive back home to wake up kids

7:45: Make 4 quick business calls and check email

8:13: Burn grits (everyone north of the Mason-Dixon cheer in unison)

8:28: Change wet sheets (urgh!!!)

9:03: Began home school till you drop

9:11: Quiet whining of older kids that they “don’t like me as their teacher”

9:40: Wife leaves for doctor appointment, errands and Starbucks

9:43: Miss my wife more than should be allowed

9:49: Send older two kids out to get fresh air (and so I can breathe)

9:58: Hear protest march outside front door led by oldest son

9:59: Screamed something that my mother made me say (it was something like -  you don’t know how easy you have it. WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE …swore I would never say that). Then something about having to walk to school… uphill both ways… in the snow… carrying football pads AND my trumpet (yes I did both)

12:30 - 12:45: Multi-task episode one: listen to Paul Harvey while making lunch (fresh broccoli, cauliflower, carrots, salad and spaghetti (left overs)

1:30: Wash dishes while giving spelling test and more home school till you drop

1:36: Whining and gnashing of teeth

2:37: Wife comes home (Kool and the Gang ‘Celebration’ music plays while confetti falls from the ceiling)

3:30: Think: gotta  get out of the house or someone is going to get hurt. IDEA: P.E. time!!! Go jump on neighbors trampoline (kid hurls…can’t remember his or her name)

4:45: Errands with everyone, including a stop at new downtown men and womens clothing shop Boyd Thomas Clothing (the more words in the name, the nicer the clothes …Exhibit A- Walmart, K-mart, Target - got it?). On the way out of the store, kids are ticketed by fashion police (remember I am doing EVERYTHING this week. What’s wrong with red and pink and UT orange colored shoes?)

5:58: Walk downtown streets of The Ville (I flat out refuse to pronounce my town Maryville like as MURVAL like some do (say Maryville like you  have a mouth full of marbles or more likely Redman)

6:01-6:03: Enjoying Christmas lights until “I’m hungry” whining starts

6:31: Multi-task: the prequel (throw Kashi frozen pizza in the oven, return phone calls wearing head set while fixing kids plates and bathing three)

6:52: Kids whine about having to eat healthy pizza(mom enters my body for the second time: “Don’t you know there are starving kids in Africa who would would love to eat this dinner?”).  Almost 12 and too sassy for his size son says, “Wouldn’t it be spoiled when it arrived there?” My chore load is now lightened for tomorrow! Son whines about it not being fair.

7:02: Mop up Niagara Falls in bathroom

7:11: Serve dinner to kids, wash dishes, read bedtime stories, grade home school math. Tell wife how incredible she is

8:33: Eat cold pizza with wife in dining room with candles and romantic music (to drown out three year old’s whining which turns to wailing from upstairs bedroom prison)

9:23: Mount St. Laundry II: The return of Jedi Laundry Warrior (still can’t get ink stains out with hair spray of FAVORITE pants - make up song to the tune of Sleigh bells ring, are you listening. Goes like this:

Heloise are you listening. In my house, ink is glistening, a beautiful day, with plans gone astray, walking in a whiner wonder land

9:45: Check email again, blog and tell wife, “Not tonight, I have a headache!”

10:32: Lights out

10:32: 1/2 fall into kid induced coma

For those tuning in for the first time, I am Mr. Mom this week at my house. I gave my wife the craziest gift I have ever given her - complete freedom - she’s out to lunch now with a friend (actually, I must have been out to lunch when I offered my gift!). NO I didn’t inhale either!

My day started at 4:47 am with a wake up nudge from my wife (and no it’s not what you think). There was a beeping noise in the house and of course SHE thought a time bomb was going off any moment to kill us all. After I convinced her that there was no time bomb, she said it was the heater and our house was going up in flames. Again, I calmed her. Finally after using the radon detector throughout the entire house, we ID-ed the noise as a child’s toy with batteries. It was going off because some little person had put a book on top activating the button. I’ve now told them all they could have killed us and to NEVER touch that toy again. I’ve also made a note to tell the out-laws er…in-laws, parents and other “well meaning” gift givers that ANY toy requiring batteries will immediately be put in the the incinerator. More later on my Mr. Mom day (and week) later…

Special request: I need a rock band. Here’s the scoop. A few months ago I posted about needing a theme song for a conference. My friend and Daily Planet beat reporter Rick Laney suggested Van Halen’s Right Now song which would play as I came on stage (Rick you win the prize). Now, my National Speakers Association winter meeting has an unusual request. My speaker buddy, Eric Chester had the idea that each participant at our SpeakerPalooza (winter meeting) held in San Francisco, would put their  favorite rock band along side the name for the meeting. Mark LaBlanc, our president has chose the pithy theme of NSA Rocks and EVERYTHING he is doing uses rock music as a metaphor. It’s been…well groovy tunes to the max.

So is this: Do I use a band from my early years like Dire Straits or The Doobie Brothers, or a favorite band from the 80’s like Huey Lewis and the News or Stevie Windwood, or a 90’s group like the Spin Doctors, or a new favorite like the Dave Matthews band for my name tag? Or do I use groups I have seen in concert (including the Doobie Brothers) like Boston, AC/DC, Poco, Dan Fogleberg, George Benson, The Commodores and Earth, Wind, and Fire. I could also go with Bach or Bachman Turner Overdrive. I could also show my more metro side and choose James Taylor or Taylor Hicks. Or I could show my beach side and pick Jimmy Buffet or I could choose Warren Buffet (doesn’t he have a band?). SO many choices so little time (due December 20th). What do you think? Who am I missing? The winning suggestion wins double the money Rick won.

Mr. Mom poses another more pressing question:

How do you get ink stains out of pants and grease out of a shirt? Both have been soaked in nearly every commercially available laundry chemical (but not put in the dryer).

Gotta run, the kids could be burning down the house with the fire torch I left blocking the door, while I ran to my computer to write my wife, to tell her how much the kids I miss her.