Burning Down the House
Fun and Frivolous December 17th, 2007
For those tuning in for the first time, I am Mr. Mom this week at my house. I gave my wife the craziest gift I have ever given her - complete freedom - she’s out to lunch now with a friend (actually, I must have been out to lunch when I offered my gift!). NO I didn’t inhale either!
My day started at 4:47 am with a wake up nudge from my wife (and no it’s not what you think). There was a beeping noise in the house and of course SHE thought a time bomb was going off any moment to kill us all. After I convinced her that there was no time bomb, she said it was the heater and our house was going up in flames. Again, I calmed her. Finally after using the radon detector throughout the entire house, we ID-ed the noise as a child’s toy with batteries. It was going off because some little person had put a book on top activating the button. I’ve now told them all they could have killed us and to NEVER touch that toy again. I’ve also made a note to tell the out-laws er…in-laws, parents and other “well meaning” gift givers that ANY toy requiring batteries will immediately be put in the the incinerator. More later on my Mr. Mom day (and week) later…
Special request: I need a rock band. Here’s the scoop. A few months ago I posted about needing a theme song for a conference. My friend and Daily Planet beat reporter Rick Laney suggested Van Halen’s Right Now song which would play as I came on stage (Rick you win the prize). Now, my National Speakers Association winter meeting has an unusual request. My speaker buddy, Eric Chester had the idea that each participant at our SpeakerPalooza (winter meeting) held in San Francisco, would put their favorite rock band along side the name for the meeting. Mark LaBlanc, our president has chose the pithy theme of NSA Rocks and EVERYTHING he is doing uses rock music as a metaphor. It’s been…well groovy tunes to the max.
So is this: Do I use a band from my early years like Dire Straits or The Doobie Brothers, or a favorite band from the 80’s like Huey Lewis and the News or Stevie Windwood, or a 90’s group like the Spin Doctors, or a new favorite like the Dave Matthews band for my name tag? Or do I use groups I have seen in concert (including the Doobie Brothers) like Boston, AC/DC, Poco, Dan Fogleberg, George Benson, The Commodores and Earth, Wind, and Fire. I could also go with Bach or Bachman Turner Overdrive. I could also show my more metro side and choose James Taylor or Taylor Hicks. Or I could show my beach side and pick Jimmy Buffet or I could choose Warren Buffet (doesn’t he have a band?). SO many choices so little time (due December 20th). What do you think? Who am I missing? The winning suggestion wins double the money Rick won.
Mr. Mom poses another more pressing question:
How do you get ink stains out of pants and grease out of a shirt? Both have been soaked in nearly every commercially available laundry chemical (but not put in the dryer).
Gotta run, the kids could be burning down the house with the fire torch I left blocking the door, while I ran to my computer to write my wife, to tell her how much the kids I miss her.
Soooooo… ’bout those stains…
I have no idea about the ink- unless it is from a ballpoint pen you haven’t tried applying aerosol hairspray.
There are a couple of things you can try for the grease.
If the stain is not too bad or is relatively fresh, Dawn dish detergent placed on the fabric, scrubbed well, and rinsed (repeating if necessary) often works. Another, very effective solution, is… brace yourself, kerosene. It almost always dissolves the toughest of grease.
Pour it on and work the fabric. Repeat as necessary. When the stain appears to be gone, use Dawn as above. It has to be Dawn, the other soaps do not work as well.
If allowed to dry before you use the dish soap, it will leave an oily stain. (It too will come out with Dawn.) I wouldn’t attempt this one on something very expensive, irreplaceable, or that I am not willing to lose as sometime kerosene can do weird things to fabrics. Though, if the item would be a total loss otherwise, I would certainly try it.
Stains: yup, hairspray and Dawn were my suggestions.
Bands … wow, that’s a tuffy. You are the multi-faceted guy, but what’s (who’s) at the core? Your fall-back group you listen to when you need a pick-me-up or to feel good?
Me? i’d have to use Pink, ’cause i just got a copy of her latest CD (”I’m Not Dead”) and i’ve really been resonating with her stuff lately. She’s not a bad poet; little ruff, but good.
Good luck!
carol
All the most successful Mr. Moms carry a Tide Stick in their shirt pocket, brief case, and bible bag…
Greatest band ever - RUSH! Either “Working Man” or “New World Man” would be great songs for you.
New World Man lyrics:
He’s a rebel and a runner
He’s a signal turning green
He’s a restless young romantic
Wants to run the big machine
He’s got a problem with his poisons
But you know he’ll find a cure
He’s cleaning up his systems
To keep his nature pure
Learning to match the beat of the Old World Man
Learning to catch the heat of the Third World Man
He’s got to make his own mistakes
And learn to mend the mess he makes
He’s old enough to know what’s right
But young enough not to choose it
He’s noble enough to win the world
But weak enough to lose it
He’s a New World Man…
He’s a radio receiver
Tuned to factories and farms
He’s a writer and arranger
And a young boy bearing arms
He’s got a problem with his power
With weapons on patrol
He’s got to walk a fine line
And keep his self-control
Trying to save the day for the Old World Man
Trying to pave the way for the Third World Man
He’s not concerned with yesterday
He knows constant change is here today
He’s noble enough to know what’s right
But weak enough not to choose it
He’s wise enough to win the world
But fool enough to lose it
He’s a New World Man…
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