Today was an AWESOME day. I slept like a baby with the windows open and woke up to a quiet cabin in Pomona Park, FL. I slipped out the door and was soon joined by my son on the dock. We watched the morning unfold and listened to the sounds of night become more and more faint until they left with the dark sky. Then the fun started. The Master Craft ski boat roared to life and I watched with pride as my son learned to ski.  As much as I had wanted to be the one to teach him, it didn’t happen after many attempts in the summer of 2007. Just because you can do something with a certain level of competence doesn’t necessarily mean you have the skills (or patience) to be a great instructor. It seemed fitting though that the same person who taught me to ski many years ago also taught my son. Later as we drove away from the lake, we talked about how cool it would be if he also taught my son’s son. Though my daughter didn’t learn as I had hoped, she is now more motivated and wants to learn when the water is warmer (we have “booked” both older kids in the Bill Walter Water Ski Camp for two sessions in 2008!)We spent the day on the lake, eating breakfast and lunch outside. My heart pined for my native Florida as we rode in the boat and even jumped in the lake without wetsuits. After a picture perfect day, we drove to Daytona Beach, my old high school stomping grounds. The most beautiful rainbow I have ever seen stretched from the north end of Daytona to the south. We met my best friend Roger at his parents house and enjoyed a fabulous dinner. My 11 year old cast a line out on the dock, behind Rogers parents home, and caught the biggest fish he’s ever caught. I caught up with Rogers parents as Roger helped my son fish. I heard Rogers parents talk about the day they met (Friday the 13th in 1947). They told of their first date. They also described dancing all night while the band at Chicago’s Glass Slipper tried to play a music for which they didn’t know a dance. We sat outside and watched the night sky until what seemed like forever. Then I relented on my decade ban on Krispy Kreme doughnuts and ate right by the HOT sign with my kids thinking ‘”dad has lost it and we LOVE it!”. Now it’s lights out and I feel a sugar induced coma coming on!  

Merry Christmas! These Indiana University students sing the 12 Days of Christmas unlike anything I have ever heard.

I would love to hear family Christmas traditions (I’ll tell you mine if you tell me yours).

Things I accomplished this week during my week of being Mr. Mom:

New understanding and appreciation for my wife and homeschool mothers everywhere!

Daily exercise (it can be done).

Burning two dishes (my “kids, pretend it’s camping” comment didn’t work).

Getting great family pictures (thanks LaDonna!).

Preparing for tomorrow’s “Dreams for Kids” Christmas party.

Doing 9 loads of laundry in a washer that could hold 8 kids, four hound dogs, and a piggy we stole from the shed (for any John Denver fans).

Changing enough diapers to keep Greenpeace protesting for centuries.

Multi-tasking at even higher levels of incompetence.

Riding in the first annual Knoxville Christmas bike parade (see below).

Things I didn’t accomplish done this week as Mr Mom:

Watching Micheal Keaton in the movie Mr. Mom.

Spending quality time with my wife, each kid individually, or the postman for that matter.

Sleeping in past 6:00 am.

Waxing the floor.

Baking cookies.

Sending Christmas cards (I don’t think I read any either).

Showering before noon.

Cooking anything from scratch.

Making a family video like this video.

Figuring out how to make a blog post like this “fit the page” Could someone please HELP me!

The first annual Tour de Lights was a resounding success, with 200 people showing up to ride. People showed a lot of creativity and energy in their decorations and costumes. There were several celebrities in attendance, including Rudolph leading Santa’s tandem, and the Mayor of Whoville and the Grinch (whose heart had already grown three sizes). After the ride, my two older kids and I enjoyed hot chocolate and cookies donated by the Mast General store. The people we passed along the way were very excited to see our parade of lights and costumes. You can see photos at www.knoxtrans.org

Future blogs I have put off until 2009:

All I want for Christmas is a few good books

Meet me in Memphis - Everything I needed to know in life I learned from the Memphis VA hospital

Rendevouz How “chance” meetings changed me.

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas (and that’s not necessarily a good thing).

Mr. Mom: The Saga continues:

4:30: Wake up

4:45: Mount St. Laundry/plan day (write note that says, “bring towel to gym”)

5:22: Arrive at Rush fitness center

5:49: Disembark from stair stepper (VERY short X-ercise as trip to the car to look for towel shortens workout). Hey even a few minutes is better than nothing even though it’s not X-treme

5:51: Shower (dry of with paper towels and Accelerator hand dryer - the one that can blow your skin off your body)

6:11: Arrive late to Bible study(the group is already praying. I need them to stop and pray for me!)

7:08: Run quick errand downtown

7:32: Arrive back home to wake up kids

7:45: Make 4 quick business calls and check email

8:13: Burn grits (everyone north of the Mason-Dixon cheer in unison)

8:28: Change wet sheets (urgh!!!)

9:03: Began home school till you drop

9:11: Quiet whining of older kids that they “don’t like me as their teacher”

9:40: Wife leaves for doctor appointment, errands and Starbucks

9:43: Miss my wife more than should be allowed

9:49: Send older two kids out to get fresh air (and so I can breathe)

9:58: Hear protest march outside front door led by oldest son

9:59: Screamed something that my mother made me say (it was something like -  you don’t know how easy you have it. WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE …swore I would never say that). Then something about having to walk to school… uphill both ways… in the snow… carrying football pads AND my trumpet (yes I did both)

12:30 - 12:45: Multi-task episode one: listen to Paul Harvey while making lunch (fresh broccoli, cauliflower, carrots, salad and spaghetti (left overs)

1:30: Wash dishes while giving spelling test and more home school till you drop

1:36: Whining and gnashing of teeth

2:37: Wife comes home (Kool and the Gang ‘Celebration’ music plays while confetti falls from the ceiling)

3:30: Think: gotta  get out of the house or someone is going to get hurt. IDEA: P.E. time!!! Go jump on neighbors trampoline (kid hurls…can’t remember his or her name)

4:45: Errands with everyone, including a stop at new downtown men and womens clothing shop Boyd Thomas Clothing (the more words in the name, the nicer the clothes …Exhibit A- Walmart, K-mart, Target - got it?). On the way out of the store, kids are ticketed by fashion police (remember I am doing EVERYTHING this week. What’s wrong with red and pink and UT orange colored shoes?)

5:58: Walk downtown streets of The Ville (I flat out refuse to pronounce my town Maryville like as MURVAL like some do (say Maryville like you  have a mouth full of marbles or more likely Redman)

6:01-6:03: Enjoying Christmas lights until “I’m hungry” whining starts

6:31: Multi-task: the prequel (throw Kashi frozen pizza in the oven, return phone calls wearing head set while fixing kids plates and bathing three)

6:52: Kids whine about having to eat healthy pizza(mom enters my body for the second time: “Don’t you know there are starving kids in Africa who would would love to eat this dinner?”).  Almost 12 and too sassy for his size son says, “Wouldn’t it be spoiled when it arrived there?” My chore load is now lightened for tomorrow! Son whines about it not being fair.

7:02: Mop up Niagara Falls in bathroom

7:11: Serve dinner to kids, wash dishes, read bedtime stories, grade home school math. Tell wife how incredible she is

8:33: Eat cold pizza with wife in dining room with candles and romantic music (to drown out three year old’s whining which turns to wailing from upstairs bedroom prison)

9:23: Mount St. Laundry II: The return of Jedi Laundry Warrior (still can’t get ink stains out with hair spray of FAVORITE pants - make up song to the tune of Sleigh bells ring, are you listening. Goes like this:

Heloise are you listening. In my house, ink is glistening, a beautiful day, with plans gone astray, walking in a whiner wonder land

9:45: Check email again, blog and tell wife, “Not tonight, I have a headache!”

10:32: Lights out

10:32: 1/2 fall into kid induced coma

For those tuning in for the first time, I am Mr. Mom this week at my house. I gave my wife the craziest gift I have ever given her - complete freedom - she’s out to lunch now with a friend (actually, I must have been out to lunch when I offered my gift!). NO I didn’t inhale either!

My day started at 4:47 am with a wake up nudge from my wife (and no it’s not what you think). There was a beeping noise in the house and of course SHE thought a time bomb was going off any moment to kill us all. After I convinced her that there was no time bomb, she said it was the heater and our house was going up in flames. Again, I calmed her. Finally after using the radon detector throughout the entire house, we ID-ed the noise as a child’s toy with batteries. It was going off because some little person had put a book on top activating the button. I’ve now told them all they could have killed us and to NEVER touch that toy again. I’ve also made a note to tell the out-laws er…in-laws, parents and other “well meaning” gift givers that ANY toy requiring batteries will immediately be put in the the incinerator. More later on my Mr. Mom day (and week) later…

Special request: I need a rock band. Here’s the scoop. A few months ago I posted about needing a theme song for a conference. My friend and Daily Planet beat reporter Rick Laney suggested Van Halen’s Right Now song which would play as I came on stage (Rick you win the prize). Now, my National Speakers Association winter meeting has an unusual request. My speaker buddy, Eric Chester had the idea that each participant at our SpeakerPalooza (winter meeting) held in San Francisco, would put their  favorite rock band along side the name for the meeting. Mark LaBlanc, our president has chose the pithy theme of NSA Rocks and EVERYTHING he is doing uses rock music as a metaphor. It’s been…well groovy tunes to the max.

So is this: Do I use a band from my early years like Dire Straits or The Doobie Brothers, or a favorite band from the 80’s like Huey Lewis and the News or Stevie Windwood, or a 90’s group like the Spin Doctors, or a new favorite like the Dave Matthews band for my name tag? Or do I use groups I have seen in concert (including the Doobie Brothers) like Boston, AC/DC, Poco, Dan Fogleberg, George Benson, The Commodores and Earth, Wind, and Fire. I could also go with Bach or Bachman Turner Overdrive. I could also show my more metro side and choose James Taylor or Taylor Hicks. Or I could show my beach side and pick Jimmy Buffet or I could choose Warren Buffet (doesn’t he have a band?). SO many choices so little time (due December 20th). What do you think? Who am I missing? The winning suggestion wins double the money Rick won.

Mr. Mom poses another more pressing question:

How do you get ink stains out of pants and grease out of a shirt? Both have been soaked in nearly every commercially available laundry chemical (but not put in the dryer).

Gotta run, the kids could be burning down the house with the fire torch I left blocking the door, while I ran to my computer to write my wife, to tell her how much the kids I miss her.

Today (this was written for yesterday) was RICH:

- A beautiful sunrise

- A walk in the woods with my son

- Ginger granola and walnut cereal

- Synchronized swimming meet

- An awesome non-salesy new car salesman(yes it’s possible)

- A zap nap

- Visit with an elderly neighbor

- Sushi

- Good friends

- Laughter

- A great deal at Office Depot on clearance

- Reconciliation

- Rain

- Sleep

(A Sunday addition: John Rutter music)

BTW, I have been looking for a place to put that roll of important paper with the gold seal that I borrowed from the Peabody Hotel. I thought I would put it at my church (and I couldn’t break into the complex system). I tried over at Maryville College and they had locks on them. Then I thought, where can I put it that would be most likely to be unexpected (the gas station and it didn’t work their either)…has anyone trying stalling?

The coming attractions posts below are still coming but may be booted because of Mr. Mom week! For her birthday, I gave my wife a week off  child care. I am taking over everything, baby and it’s going to be scary fun. All the homeschooling for the three older ones, childcare for the younger two. All meals - breakfast, lunch and dinner. All diaper changing, baths, everything that I can do except the ONE thing God didn’t equip me for… nursing. Hey, I’d give it a try but I fear it would be frustrating for everyone! My plan is to blog about it but IF you don’t see it this week, it will be the same reason my wife checks her email every other month (We haven’t a clue how other H.S. moms can be so timely with email, know the news, look good in public, be on time, be involved, know the gossip happenings, and have a good hair day) - I am thinking they are sneaking more than ten items through the express checkout* or cheating on their taxes.

* There IS a name for this. First correct answer wins a donation to any charity on the World’s Biggest Blog Party.

(Still) Coming attractions (future blogs I am pondering/writing in my mind):All I want for Christmas is a few good books

Meet me in Memphis - Everything I needed to know in life I learned from the Memphis VA hospital

Rendevouz How “chance” meetings changed me.

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas (and that’s not necessarily a good thing).

I just made $500 dollars. It was so quick and easy that’s it’s almost disgusting. Here’s the story:

I popped into Boyd Thomas, a new clothing shop that opened downtown in my little Mitford. The owner asked me what I did and I told him about my Richest People in America project. He then told me that he had a candidate for me and showed me pictures done by a local artist. This painter does all her work for free. No charge. Nada. Zero. EXCEPT there is one catch. She requests that people who get her paintings donate money to charity.

As “fate” would have it, I happened to have received a letter today from Dreams for Kids founder Tom Tuohy. Tom called me a few months ago and asked that I have a party in E. Tennessee. It’s going to be a small party with one or two other families joining in. We’ll make cookies, sing carols, give out gifts and inspire smiles. I have access to a red Santa suit (Tia are you reading?) which will HOPEFULLY find a bearded, white haired man to call home for a few hours. So IF everything works out, I get to help spend $500.00 to put smiles on kids faces. It will be the most joyous spending I have ever done. How cool will it be to get to spend money on kids who won’t have much of a Christmas without it.

I am not sure what called me into that store but I am convinced that I need to listen to my gut even more after this week. As I was walking in, I thought, I really don’t have time to make this stop. In retrospect, I couldn’t afford not to stop in.

(I got this today … more later)

Dear Tim and family:

We want to welcome you to the Heartfelt Connections pilot program that we are currently launching with the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society, San Diego Chapter and Hallmark Cards.

Heartfelt Connections is a simple, fast, and loving way to connect patients-in-need with people who care—one greeting card at a time. It is a unique blend of technology and heartfelt compassion that allows anyone to share supportive, kind, and encouraging words with someone facing the challenges of blood-related cancers. It was created by Compassionate Communications, in a unique partnership with Hallmark Cards, to bring messages of hope to those who need them most.

In addition to reaching out to individual patients-in-need, you’ll also be supporting the financial well being of the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society, San Diego Chapter.

If you go to our website, you can view our, “frequently asked questions”, Sign-Up form and press release. Please share with your family, friends and co-workers.

We welcome your feedback, ideas, and support. Feel free to contact me or my assistant, Jennifer Godbout, to discuss our program. Thank you.

In Spirit,

Greg Voisen
Heartfelt Connections
greg@eluminate.net

760-631-2631

888-337-6416

A professional speaker friend emailed and asked for some ideas to help businesses keep focused during the holidaze. She is being interviewed by the Atlanta Constitution Journal and asked me for my input. Here’s the email I sent her (warts and all)Here’s what I am doing to keep focused on work:

1. Working on creating a vision for 2008 (I’m working on a plan to have a 4 Hour Work week starting 4^th Q in 08 – it’s very ambitious but attainable IF I develop a good plan and work the plan. That is helping keep  big goals on the big picture.
2. Revising, updating, and planning for 2008 (revisiting goals, refining my company positioning statement, working on printing new materials, creative communications - thank you cards, birthday cards, etc.)
3. Working on tech kinks and getting all office equipment working at it’s highest level to maximize efficiency (I think before Christmas is a great time to get more tech support as most consumers are busy for the holidays) If we are using tech more efficiently, it helps increase productivity and will result in less stress when there is down time.
4. Take time to appreciate my 2007 customers. I don’t usually send out x-mas cards. Instead, I  call and give a tailored genuine thank you either via voice mail or preferably live. Not only is it very different than what most companies send out, it’s also A LOT less stressful and is very focusing as well. IF you set it up right, customers will both tell you what you do well and give you suggestions for improvement (to any one local - Merry Christmas! That’s my card. Hey I am not being callous, I LOVE Christmas but I refuse to get worked up this year. I am spending time focusing on why we celebrate and enjoy moments with those I love and cherish. 
5. Give time and money away.  As trite as it sounds, it is the reason for the season. My family and my company are actively seeking ways to give back to make our community a better place to live. I believe giving employees PAID time to give, improves productivity, decrease absenteeism, and improves morale – all which affect focus, in my view.

 In the news: 

“Today is National Ginger Bread House day. Let me know if you had a party”.

There’s been a ban on “sagging” in Atlanta public schools. In case you don’t have or know a teenager, sagging is wearing your pants so low that you show your ….let’s just say it’s easier to moon someone today than when I was in high school. My personal motto: ”Keep crack out of schools”.

I watched the early news this am (which I rarely do) and you’ll see why. Apparently, a little boy named Trey, age 6, killed a black bear this week. According to the report, he is related to Daniel Boone. As you can imagine, the males in his family are ecstatic. His grandpa was asked by the TV reporter, “How did you feel when you heard the news?” To which grand pappy said, “Tears rolled down my cheeks.” If  you live in East, TN, please do something news worthy and call WBIR or WATE…quickly before some five year old girl shoots a buck to make “me maw” or grand pappy proud.

The local Angel Tree organization needs clothes, shoes, and toys (GI Joe with Kung Fu grip type stuff) as they are short $7000 in donations. Drop off to West Town Mall or send donations to: