Several months ago, I bumped into Kathy Roth at a dinner at my church. Kathy’s husband, Jeff, was killed last year as he rode his bike along a four-lane highway near where we live. For months I had wanted to plant a seed with her. I wanted to share with her how I had dealt with the blow of losing my best friend to melanoma in 1998. For months after her husband’s death, I had wanted to tell her about the foundation we started in memory of my friend and about our annual 5 K run. I didn’t know her before the accident so I waited….several months. Eight months later, I approached her and suggested that she consider starting a foundation to keep the memory of her husband alive.  I suggested she might have a bike ride to raise money and awareness of cycling safety. It was a short conversation and I didn’t think much more about it. I saw Kathy a few weeks later and she told me that she couldn’t stop thinking about the idea.

Over the summer, we met and I told her how we had started our foundation. I told her how so much of what we had accomplished (raising over $400,000 to help patients who needed treatment, sponsoring symposiums to bring leading researchers together from all over the world, educating people about the dangers of exposure to the sun, etc.) had been accomplished because we asked people to help. Many things we asked for - a DJ to MC the event, a musician to play after the race, billboards that advertised our events, a race director to make our 5 K run one of the premier runs in central Florida - we got for free. We talked about how people were more than willing to help if asked. We talked about how people really want to help but sometimes they just need to be asked. And we talked about the joy others get when they have the opportunity to help.

This week, we were talking on the phone about the Jeff Roth Cycling Foundation. She told me how that simple conversation we had changed her life lately. She gave me several examples. She told me, “I was denying people joy by not letting them help me in the past. Now simply by letting people know what my needs are, I am getting help I need and others are experiencing the joy of giving.”

 I share this personal story for a few reasons.

1) When someone you know experiences a loss, thoughfully consider how you might help them. If might take some time before your offer is right but offer.

2) Don’t be afraid to risk. By the time I planted the seed with Kathy, I felt comfortable enough with her to make the suggestion but there was always the possibility that she might not have been ready. 

3) If you have needs, don’t be afraid to ask. People everywhere want to help. Sometimes they just don’t know how.

4) Look for opportunities in your life and in the lives of others around you to turn adversity into action. Kathy already had helped influence legislation to make cycling more safe.

5) Remember there is joy in giving. It will truly make your life more rich.

Tim Richardson is an inspirational speaker who speaks about how giving increases employee morale, lowers employee turnover, increases customer loyalty and creates higher profits for Fortune 500 companies, associations, and national conventions. He is the founder of the The Worlds Biggest Blog Party an event which will connect bloggers from all over the world to raise money for charity. He is also founder and president of the Bill Walter Melanoma Research Fund. For more information on Tim, go to www.TimRichardson.com